Family First

There is nothing more vital to the development of society and nation than the family unit. This statement has become cliché and even fodder for those misguided Africans who believe that the mother-father model is antiquated and unnecessary. These people are complete fools. Due to the adverse affects European culture’s hegemony and all out hostility towards African culture, the family unit in much of the African world is all but destroyed.

The family nourishes, protects, and cultivates the nation. Like many Africans living in the West, I grew up in a single parent home headed by my mother, and co-piloted by grandmother. These two women exemplified African womanhood, and provided me with structured and disciplined home. Despite not having many material resources, I had comparable exposure to culture and places that rivaled children from much more affluent two parent homes. Though we were poor, one would never make that assumption from conversing with us, visiting our home, or monitoring our scholastic, athletic and artistic achievements. Am I writing this to boast? No, I am simply attempting to underscore the importance and impact that strong family units can have on the development of children. Yes there were drug dealers, drug addicts, thieves, killers, and prostitutes in my neighborhood. And yes there was a level of negative impact that they had on my development. But because of my family, I never viewed the “street life” as a viable vocation. The point is that you don’t have to be rich to talk to your children. You don’t have to be rich to stay in contact with their teachers. You don’t have to be rich to take them to the park.

Africans (particularly in America) have been conditioned to believe that their meager finances, somehow gives them license to behave in a savage manner. Some of us call it being “ghetto”, but most of us have come to believe that acting “ghetto” is somehow synonymous with blackness. We have come to pity ourselves to the point that we have not only become stagnant but are developmentally moving backwards.

As a generation “Xer” who grew up during the height of the crack, HIV/AIDS, and violent crime epidemic I never in a million years would have guessed that out situation could get any worse than it was in the 1980’s and 1990’s. SURPRISE! It somehow has.

Despite being in a far worse economic situation than we are today, and not having a fraction of the opportunities in European society, how was it that crime was much lower, entrepreneurship greater, and a general sense of civility and community infinitely stronger in the pre-Integration south than they are today? Naturally apologists will immediately point to the fact that there is a growing black middle class, higher enrollment in college, and more black millionaires than ever before. That’s nice. But making such an argument is akin to saying that someone in 1940 with $100 is worse off than someone in 2006 with $1,000. Just as inflation nullifies that argument, so too does the general improved state of affairs for all Americans compared to Africans nullify the aforementioned argument. Has there been a significant closing of the gap between African and White income levels? How about college enrollment for black men to their female counterparts? How about the outrageous proportion of blacks to whites in prison? How about murder rates? How about academic achievement? Let’s be clear, mediocre growth does not constitute progress. Having a few high profile examples of “success” like Oprah Winfrey and Bob Johnson does not constitute growth.

Again, what was it that allowed us to maintain thriving communities exemplified by the 27 "all black" towns of Oklahoma in the early part of the twentieth century? Aside from the obvious separation factor (which will be discussion topic later), one would have to point to the strength of the family unit. The strength of the family unit led to institution (Black doctors, lawyers, schools, centers of commerce) strength, which in turn led to community strength. Success stories such as Rosewood, FL and Tulsa “Black Wall Street”, OK were not without fault or issue but serve as wonderful models of strong, tight knit communities spawned by strong and stable families.

We had communities where every adult had license to discipline any child. These were communities where social services were almost unheard of because when Mama died, then Aunt Barbara took you in. These were communities where children learned the value of hard work and the importance of education. These were communities where Daddy had his shotgun ready if someone disrespected the women in his family. These were communities that were more traditionally African than they ever would have imagined.


Just as the notion of strong family and village was the bedrock of all African society and allowed them to develop great nation states, achieve excellence in the arts, sciences, and commerce, so to did it work for our communities in the West. The founders, influencers and developers of this nation typically did not come from dysfunctional (in the European sense) families. Generational wealth (monetary and otherwise) put men like Thomas Jefferson, John Rockefeller and John F. Kennedy in positions to dictate the formation of this society. Is this a coincidence? History unequivocally bears witness that this is a pattern for the formation of all villages, tribes, communities and nations.

Though institutions are the vehicle for societal development and perpetuity, they are impossible to create and maintain without strong family units. How can the average African even dare to think in institutional terms when they are constantly dealing with family drama, attempting to reconcile traumatic childhoods, and beginning their adult lives shackled with debt because their parents did not understand personal finance? A paradigm shift must occur in our conception of family in order for us to avoid extinction. In a civilized society the family is the source of strength and support for the individual. Sadly, we have gone so far from center as a people, that all too often our families are the major impediment to our growth.

But here’s the conundrum: How can strong families develop strong institutions when nearly everything in European society and culture is diametrically opposed to the African family paradigm?

Our task is far too great to complete with disjointed and dysfunctional homes. Our spousal responsibilities are just as important as our parental responsibilities. We can no longer haphazardly maintain our homes, and leave to chance the fate of the next generation of builders, strategists and freedom fighters. Cooperative marriages are infinitely vital to the dual responsibility of building strong institutions and family.

The great challenge is producing inspired and evolved offspring, while simultaneously developing institutions to propagate our culture to the masses. We cannot make the drastic error of continually sacrificing our own children’s well being in the struggle to develop institutions . We must attempt to produce supportive environments which cultivate African leadership and warriorship for our children. This takes a united intermediate and extended family approach,which is why it is so vital to produce cooperative and loving African male and female relationships as the foundation. Animosity and resentment towards the parents (and by extension the movement) is sewn into the children, when weak and inbalanced male-female relationships exist.

The most revolutionary act is to raise revolutionary children. One of the greatest failures of community activist is that they are often times ineffective in developing children who pick up the torch of resistance once they pass. The accomplishments that one makes in this short physical life are largely nullified when they bring dysfunctional and uninspired children into the world. Our goal for our children should be for them to be greater than us. Where would be today if our great warriors children were not only "as great" as their parents but greater? We must rid ourselves of the messianic and egocentric pathology that the fate of the movement is based upon our miniscule time on this planet. As our wise sage Aye Kwei Armah implores, "We must plan for millennia to come."